galaxypug:

galaxypug:

why does facebook chat only work when my message contains the words Mark Zuckerburg right now

image

image

(via kayleemb)

serkets:

itsgayerinenochian:

creepyjirachi:

"you can’t be just friends with people of the gender you’re attracted to"
myth actually true. i, as a bisexual, can confirm that i have no friends.

pansexuals spend their lives in solitude, with only rocks for company

meanwhile asexuals are friends with everyone. literally every single person on the planet. i do not know how i remember so many names

(via kayleemb)

(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

if you don’t know this reference, you’re too young for my blog tbh

if you don’t know this reference, you’re too young for my blog tbh

(Source: iloveyalike-xo, via kayleemb)

ifunnyws:

Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman

(via kayleemb)

meladoodle:

the final step in this recipe didn’t say “enjoy!” so i threw my food in the trash

(Source: meladoodle, via kayleemb)

mymompickedthisurl:

that feeling when you listen to a song with good heaphones for the first time and suddenly you notice 7 new instruments, a child singing harmonies in the background, and you’re just sitting there wide eyed and in love with the song all over again

(via kayleemb)

iraffiruse:

WHO DIDN’T PUT THEIR TRAY-TABLE UP?

(via tyleroakley)